Behold My Before

I despise the traditional "before" photos of dieters, those grim faced, badly-dressed fatties standing in despair.

I refuse. I will not slouch and sulk as I announce my determination to tackle this issue. On December the seventh, I stood on the scale and stared at the little screen as it posted the news:

300.0 lbs Even

(If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. )

This is what I look like.

I have one hundred and sixty pounds to lose,

health and vitality to regain.

And I'm going to do it

for me and for my family.

Why Do I Wear Dresses All the Time?

As a pseudo-feminist, I oughta be against the concept of wearing a dress. But I'm not. I like them. A lot.

1. They are comfy.
2. They are cooler than pants. If they made dresses with built in air conditioners, I would max out my credit card for one. Especially if it came in purple.
3. Way back when I was thin, my bottom was round and my waist was tiny. Like 45": 23" Find jeans for that!
4. I don't have to try and match. Got the top? The bottom comes with it. That way my disorganization doesn't result in nudity.
5. Only one thing to wash, dry, fold, and put away. Especially now that nylons are so passé.
6. When I buy dresses at Goodwill I only have to pay for one item to get an entire outfit.
7. I can lose or gain about 20 lbs without having to buy new clothes.
8. I can pull it on in about 15 seconds, 35 max. I've always preferred sleep to primping.
9. They are pretty.
10. The Yvil sister hates them. It's important that we maintain that polar opposites thing.

Ta-DA! Now you know.