Saturday, December 26, 2009

No Exaggeration Required

From my husband's company's weekly newsletter:

INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING

[Our company] has a zero tolerance for sexual harassment. Touching another person while a[t] work is NOT acceptable except when providing emergency medical attention (first aid or CPR) or giving a formal handshake. No other forms of touching are permitted. Other forms of touching are considered sexual harassment and will not be tolerated. You are subjecting yourself to the possibility of immediate termination if you engage in inappropriate touching. If you have been hugging, kissing, massaging, shaking hands with a double grasp, patting on the back or any other forms of inappropriate touching STOP IMMEDIATELY!

Not kidding.

10 comments:

Jami said...

I was on board right up until they got to the inappropriate handshaking and back patting.

April said...

WOW.....someone at his company is hyper sensitive to touch and needs a hug in a non sexual way of course!

mindyluwho said...

Air hugs all around!

Kristina P. said...

Crap, there goes my afternoon massages for my teenage clients.

Jami said...

I was wondering if standing really, really close to someone, but not touching them, would be a problem. I think they need to come up with an inappropriate not-touching policy too. Using LOTS OF CAPITAL LETTERS and forgetting couple words here there.

Annette Lyon said...

I can just see a co-worker stuck in a hallway because they can't pass two others who are talking without touching their arms or something.

Ridiculous indeed.

Heidi Ashworth said...

So, are we talking fired terminated or dead terminated? It could matter.

Wendy said...

Was this notice in lieu of a holiday greeting? I thought the post office had the most idiotic managers, but gosh darn, I may have been wrong!

Jami said...

They sent a Christmas greeting as well, a photocopied cheery wish that emphasized the employees' contribution to the company. The sight of all those photocopied signatures just added that je ne sais quoi to our holidays. And I'm so glad they decided to opt for the cheapest paper possible. Economy can never be overemphasized.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I better watch my double shakes.

They are kinda of a turn on though. And I only give them to people I'm semi attracted to.