Thursday, July 30, 2009

And I Quote

"I was bred to the law; that gave me a view of the dark side of humanity. Then I read poetry to qualify it with a gaze upon its bright side; and between the two extremes I have contrived through life to draw the due medium."

Thomas Jefferson, as quoted in Thomas Jefferson and the Rhetoric of Virtue

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Waste of my Mortal Probation

So I read the first and last Twilight books. Two thoughts. One for each of them.

Twilight: What's with the apple? Really.

Warning! PG-13 comment on a PG-13 book:
Breaking Dawn: What's with the never-ending s@x?
The end is the best part. Just sayin'.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Gospel According to V

My V interprets her lessons at church in such a lively way. A little tweak here, a little extrapolation there and viola, a tale worth telling!

Take this recent exchange:
Mom, do you know what the gift of tongues is?


It's when Jesus gives us a tongue! Do you know why he gives us a tongue?

So we can talk to him. Before he gave us a tongue, he couldn't understand us because we couldn't make our words right.


The mutilated lesson from the week before:
Look, Mom! Look! Here's a glove. See how it's DEAD! It doesn't move because its really dead. But look, Mom! If I put my hand in it, the glove is ALIVE. Because my hand is alive. Do you know why Jesus made my glove alive? So that [she places a penny upon her gloved hand and moves it forward a few inches] that it can pay tithing! Isn't that great, Mom?

Uh...yes, babe. That's great.

And last but not least, here's my all-time favorite V-ism, from a couple years back.
Do you have any questions about Jesus, V?

Just one. How did Jesus get us all here to Earth?

Well...daddies and mo--

I know! He gave us a ride on a spaceship! He had a cart that he drives on little wire connected to earth and the moon and the planet God lives on. So he made us on his planet and then he carried us without life and as he put us on Earth he made us alive--with his magic. Actually I'm really sure about Heavenly Father letting daddies and mommies make babies.

With s*x?

Yes, when a daddy and a mo--

Then Jesus brings us to Earth in the cart. Right?!

I love you, sweetie.

I love you too, Mom.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

In Which the Universe Thumbs Its Nose at My Presumption

It was beginning to feel like the death channel around here: all death, all the time.

So in late June I made my first Official Declaration 1 to the Universe:

Official Declaration 1

Hear ye! Hear ye! I officially declare the rest of 2009 to be a death-free year! All things great and small are hereby forbidden to die.

Most Seriously,

Jami La

Controller of All

At which point the Universe began its decimation of the stars.

Excuse me, O Universe, I believe you've gotten my order wrong.

What the heck? Wasn't I clear enough?

What?? I am not in control of the universe?

Oh. Oops. My mistake.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Edward and Westley

In January, Westley disappeared. We searched the shelters, the streets, and accosted every white cat in town. We listed ads on Craig's List and in the newspaper. It was heart-rending. The lack of closure, the not knowing, was as painful as the loss of our sweety. Edward, his litter-mate, went into a funk. We cried. But about three months after he left, we accepted his loss. Even Edward accepted it.

Still we longed for closure. Be careful what you long for. We got our closure on June 13th.

After a joyous day of kitty frolicking, Mr. Edward suddenly lost the use of his back legs. He dragged himself home in the dead of night, and our nice neighbor came to tell us he was injured. A quick trip to the vet and one euthanasia later, we knew. Both of our kittens had a heart defect which resulted in deadly blood clots.

It sucked.

But for two baby boys who were found in a field, they had a great life. Their rescuers bottle-fed them, adored them and snuggled them. When we adopted them they gained seven new adoring fans. They had snuggles, warm beds, great food. They had each other. They had such joi de vivre that passersby would stop and watch them. Their sweet lives brightened our pathway awhile.

Adieu, my kitty boys.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

The Pioneer Trek Reenactment
June 25 -27 2009

Many thanks to Kathy for the great pictures.