Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Moffat's More Death Obsessed than I Am.

If I haven't outed myself as a nerd yet, allow me to do so. I am a Doctor Who fan. A big one. I have no TARDIS mugs or sonic screwdiver pens. No posters all over my rooms. Nevertheless.

Anyhow, I'll post a huge picture for those of you who need protection from Season 5, 6, and 7 spoilers. Here you go. Now go away or your life will be spoiled. (Also—move it along, time to catch up on your Who.)

Steven Moffet is just messing with us all. As I'm sure most people who've watched New Who can tell you, Moffet is mean and more than a teensy bit morbid. People die and then live. Then die again. (Lather-rinse-repeat.) Rory-and-Amy's deaths have became a running joke. Apparently Clara is going to follow suit. So here is a post that is really just for me to keep score. I'll be adding to it. [Don't flip out if it takes me a bit. "Just for me" means I am not trying to write the authoritative death lists for Whovians. Also I am not touching the Jack Harkness deaths, too many, too grotesque.]

Rory's Deaths:
1. Amy's Choice—Mrs. Pogett
2. Amy's Choice—Blown up when the doctor blew up the TARDIS.
3. Cold Blood—Shot by the Silerian Restac (intended for the Doctor) and body absorbed by the light, erased from time.
4, The Curse of the Black Spot—A toss up between drowning, and being vaporized by the touch of a stroppy homicidal mermaid, one of the two got him.
5. The Curse of the Black Spot—Appears to drown when taken off life support.
6. The Doctor's Wife—Died of old age in the TARDIS, driven to insanity by House.
7. The Angels Take Manhattan—Died from old age at Winter Quay.
8. The Angels Take Manhattan—Jumped from roof of Winter Quay.
9. The Angels Take Manhattan—Lived to death in the past, died for real at age 82. (This time they really mean it. Ten points if you can guess the show that's from.)

Amy's Deaths:
1. Amy's Choice—Drove van into wall.
2. Amy's Choice—Doctor blew up the TARDIS.
3. Hungry Earth—Amy appears to die when she gets swallowed up by the earth.
4. Girl Who Waited—Older Amy killed by the kindness of hand-bots and simultaneously wiped from existence. 
5. The Angels Take Manhattan—Jumped from roof at Winter Quay.
6. The Angels Take Manhattan—Lived to death in the past, died for real at age 87.

Clara's Deaths:
1. Asylum of the Daleks—Blown up.
2. The Snowmen—Fell to death.
3. The Bells of St. John—Soul sucked out by a little girl spoon-head at the base of the stairs.
4. The Bells of St. John—Soul sucked out by a doctor spoon-head at the cafĂ©.
5. Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS—Melted into a lava monster thingy. (I believe they are known in certain circles as "ossified creatures.")
6. The Name of the Doctor—OK, Clara officially wins most deaths of anyone in Who, old or new. How can you even count after that? 

If, by chance, you are not a Doctor Who fan, I suggest that you try it out. Get ready for cheesy special effects, some over-the-top moralizing, some melodrama, and some good clean fun. In theory, it's a children's show, but it's too scary for my littlest who is six.

As an aside, I must admit that I had a very good time double checking my list.

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