Saturday, October 30, 2010

It Sucks

Posting lots and lots over at my mom's caring bridge blog. Little details about her recovery from surgery. Everyone always wants more. They think they do anyway. They don't. I know I don't want to be as sure as I am that I'm going to lose her. Suspense sucks, but certainty is its own brand of hell.

I ran into a post somewhere from a guy who regarded his stage 4 cancer as a chronic disease and had vastly beat the odds. I've grasped onto that story. And I chant it to myself as I'm going to sleep and the surgeon's voice is replaying in my head, telling what he had found and where. A chronic disease. A chronic disease. Sometimes I even forget for a bit. Then I wonder why I feel so sad. Then I remember. And it sucks.

6 comments:

mindyluwho said...

So sorry to know you are going through all this. We went through it all with my father-in-law and twas miserable. Know you are loved...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Jami, you are most beautiful. You are one of the very first blogs I ever read. And you are one of they very first comments I ever received. Maybe the very first. And I still feel close to you. I still lub reading you every time. I am so sorry about your mom. But oh, how you pull at the heart strings.

I'm so sorry I'm messing with your color schemes. ;) But you are da bomb!!!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Blog Giveaways are up http://crashtestdummydiaries.blogspot.com/2010/10/ten-in-ten-day-1.html

myimaginaryblog said...

That does suck. I'm so sorry. Chronic disease is a great alternate way of thinking of things, but chronic diseases aren't one bit fun, either.

Melanie Jacobson said...

Having gone through this with my mom, I so feel you on all this.

Heidi said...

Phew.