Long Time No Blog

Yeah, I know. I've gone inactive in the blogging community. Become a sporadic stalker. I've stayed on top of a few blogs, mostly those of people who I've connected with in real life one way or another, but overall I've poofed into a poignant memory.

In the meantime, my lousy block-buster post draws the afflicted by the thousands: 83,521 overall as of 10:15 AM. Sometimes I feel like I should just change my header to some sort of lice and nit theme. Strangely, Cutest Blog on the Block doesn't have that template. Weird.

Anyhow, I'm alive. Big things have been happening. Little things have been happening. I have every intention of writing more. (see resolutions) Look for upcoming posts about my contemplation of running a marathon. And losing another 120 pounds. And being nicer. And cleaning up my language. It's going to be amazing (and vaguely nauseous).

My Dog Ate My Blog Post

Please excuse my absence.

The kids have been hogging the computer.
My camera died.
Facebook kidnapped my brains.
The keyboard was anointed with yogurt.
My worldview blew up.
The mouse stopped working.
Change and decay in all around I've seen.

Been processing the unprocessible.

I will be returning to myself shortly.

I promise.

Curses! A Day Late and a Post Short Again

Yesterday marked my first anniversary as a blogger. I even have the beginnings of an appropriately nostalgic post in my file. I'll finish it at some point.

I love my blog. I love my blogging friends. Nevertheless, playing mommy-nurse to my tyrant child-patient has shoved my virtual life onto a back shelf. For a bit anyhow.

Never fear: I always have more to say, and say it I shall. Later.

TTFN

Post or Perish?

Ever have one of those time periods when you have nothing useful to add to the human conversation and you're out of cute stories and pictures and the stuff you want to write about you want to keep to yourself? No? Oh good. That means there will be something cool to read when I come moseying by your blogs.

I promise to post again soon. Probably three or four posts all at once because when the old grey matter decides to purge, my creations will likely be deep and often poignant. Probably wordy. Possibly amusing. Come back then, my friends.

In the meantime, seventy people a day shall come and look at the pictures of nits and lice, of President Lincoln and family, and for some odd reason the picture of Heidi and me arm wrestling. Thank you, Google images.

Quick Announcement

Love you all. I'm going to make my following status private. Don't take it personally. I still love you. I'll still read you. But the clique issues that have been raised in some circles have caused me concern that I might inadvertently be slighting someone. Don't want to do that. Not following publicly is my best shot at being clique neutral. 

Smiles everyone, smiles!

A Teeny Tiny Poll

By Common Consent has a post up which has made me wonder...

What is the name of your blogging world?

1. The Bloggosphere.

2. The Bloggernacle.

3. Neither

4. Both

The real poll is on the sidebar. Leave a comment if your blog world has a different name than either of the two in the poll. Or just chat at length about anything you feel like. But go vote on the poll, because I feel sad when only my kids and I vote.

And now the post you have all been waiting for...

OK, so this may not have been the post you were waiting for, but it's one I've been looking forward to!
NieNie's book is ready to buy! Wahoo!

What? You have no idea who Nie-Nie is?

Where have you been? Really.

Go here.
Come back.

I'll wait for you.

You back? OK. Anyhow, I wanted to help. I wanted to make something and sell it to help Nie. Or buy something that someone else made to help Nie. But for heaven's sake, I am SO broke and I am SO not talented in the creation department. (Except for making kids which I excel at, but even then I need help.) Then Sue came up with this mighty fine fundraiser book idea!

And then she even chose one of my posts to include! (Don't hold it against the book. Some amazingly funny people made it in too: Finslippy, Eric D. Snider, Rocks in My Dryer, Big Mama, Sweetney, Daring Young Mom, TAMN, Heidi Ashworth, Crash Test Dummy, Shellie from Seriously Shellie, forty-three of us in all.)

Details. All proceeds go to benefit Stephanie and Christian Nielson. It's $19.60 for either paperback or electronic download. And you can

Buy It Here
(click the big bold words)

Go buy a copy. You'll laugh. A lot. I promise. What are you still doing here? Waiting for me to say it again? OK.

Buy It Here
(click the big bold words)

Now shoo! Go do something good.

Having Some Blog Design Issues

As in it's kind of ugly around here. I mean I like the stretch. But the colors are dull. Uninspiring. Eh. My kids complain about it. (Yeah, they're mouthy, but they're cute. My blog is mouthy, but ugly.)

So anyway...a really charming blog designer, Erin, is having a blog makeover giveaway. Three lucky winners. I'm feeling the Universe aligning itself for me once more. So go enter yourself! You could win one of the other two make-overs.

A Year Later, Looking Back at My Issues

During the October 2007 General Conference, Sister Beck's talk "Mothers Who Know" blindsided me. Sweet Sister Beck. I love her. I felt like a good friend had walked into my home and told me that everything I'd ever done was worthless. I flipped out. Flipped out.

That afternoon I went to a cub scout planning meeting and mentioned how upset I felt. My sweet beautiful friends looked at me as if I'd just spoken in Russian. They wanted to be there for me, but they couldn't. They didn't understand what I found so heartbreaking. They'd loved the talk. A lot.

So a year ago, the Monday after conference, I went searching online for women who understood. I found Kristine Haglund's very comforting post at By Common Consent. I found the Bloggernacle where smart and faithful LDS people discuss ideas that range from the petty to the profound.

Here is my first (extremely long) blog comment:

Thanks for a couple of laughs on the subject. I needed them. It sure beat the two cries I’d had on the subject. Although "Our Refined Heavenly Home" wins the most uninspiring depressing talk of the decade, this one came close.

This is a hard subject for me. Six kids, small house, homeschooling. We’re all here, all the time. And I’m trying. I really am. But if a clean house and neat children are required for exaltation, I’m out. Even trying my hardest, it’s a disaster around here.

IF I could fulfill the ideal she taught, my family and I would be happier. I like clean. I like organized. I like neat, reverent children. I like peace. I dream of these things. I despair of these things.

So Sunday, I’d stayed home, listening to conference, hoping to hear “the pleasing word of God, yea the word which healeth the wounded soul.”

Sabbath-breaker that I am, I needed to clean the “playroom.” So housework was exactly what I was doing when Sister Beck was talking. I stopped cleaning. I couldn't
decide if I wanted to send in my motherhood resignation, burn the house down, or ask to have my name removed from the records of the church. Love, civil duty and a testimony prevented me from following any of those knee-jerk reactions. Instead I just cried because one more fellow mom was judging her fellow moms one more time. I don’t know–maybe that’s the in the job description for GRS Presidents.

The points that stabbed most deeply:

(My memory of) Her definition of nurture. By “nurture” we mean housework, the physical upkeep of the family. (My dictionary says “Nurturing: 1. To nourish, feed. 2. To educate, train 3. To help grow or develop; cultivate.”)

And did she really say that it didn’t really matter how much education you have if you can’t keep your home properly? I must have misheard.

I’ve pondered “the wicked taketh the truth to be hard." Am I wicked? ‘Cause that seemed pretty hard.

Well, enough killing time. I need to go clean something, cook something and cancel some of my children’s outside activities.

I live to serve. Jami

Bitter? Me? OK, maybe a little. I'm better now. This year has been one of the most difficult of my life, spiritually and intellectually. Exciting. Invigorating. But hard. A good portion of my angst has come from my exploration of LDS issues, profound and petty, from participating in the Bloggernacle.

In spite of these growing pains, I celebrate this anniversary and my freedom to think and to write about those things which interest and concern me. I celebrate my pain because it has led to increased knowledge, to increased faith and to healing. Thank you, Kristine, for the post that started it all. As it turns out, I mostly like Sister Beck's talk too. That, however, is a subject for a different post.

The Hypnotic Effect of Numbers

With six kids, there are few things that hold my undivided attention for long. The old grey matter ain't what it used to be. Off-hand, I can only think of three occasions of spontaneous, sustained concentration that have occurred since becoming a mother.

1. The night my first baby learned how to roll over, my husband and I sat on the couch and watched her figuring it out, for hours, joyously fixated. We've repeated the event another five times, but none were as delightfully addictive as the first.

2. The night my first E-Bay listing had a bidding war during the last hour. During the last few minutes, the item went up $100 which doubled its sale price. I re-loaded the page a bizillion times. Couldn't get enough of it. By the last five minutes, the whole family stood around the computer, giggling and cheering each new insane counter-bid.

3. Then there's last night, when I went for my daily visit to Times and Seasons and was reading along. Then I glanced at the sidebar. What? A link to my baby blog? Sorry T & S, but I immediately ditched you and ran to Stat Counter.

I had been pleased that I had gone from a daily visitor count that could be counted on one hand to one that required double digits. I enjoyed checking in. It was fun. At 3:30 pm yesterday, things were running steady. I was at about 20 page loads and 15 visitors. Maybe I'd hit twenty; that would be nice. Then Kaimi worked his magic.

By midnight, I'd hit 89 page loads and 67 visitors. I watched their lurking stats show up, hypnotized. Ooo, look, someone from England. Hm, a Buckeye. Canada, eh? Ooo-ah, that one read about the demon squirrels that must die. And the trend continues today. How addictive!

Here's the summary from 1:30 pm today.

I know I talk a lot, but I never would have guessed the fact that I am not talking about something would be news. Soon the link will be pushed off the list for more current ones, which is as it should be. Overall, I would rate this ride excellent. Well worth the cost of admission.

[Other news in the La Household: J-Teen was evacuated from his Boy Scout camp, because one of the Nor-Cal forest fires was a-comin' their way. You know what that means, don't you? That means he got to see the stat page too. ]

Update! Breaking News! Moment of Fame Over! Mother Returns to Normal Life!

OK, it's only 9:30 am, but I believe I can safely say that the statistical surge is over. Thanks, Kaimi. It's been fun.