Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Did You Know?

The Dollar Tree sells pregnancy tests. A buck apiece. They work too. Due my never-ending paranoia, I test regularly, at least once a month, sometimes more. So last night I picked up three while I was in the Dollar Tree neighborhood. I'm a big girl now, so I didn't buy twenty other items to hide the three boxes, though my inner teen begged me to shield her from the shame. Sometimes I should listen to my inner teen.

The checkout clerk chatted me up. About pregnancy tests. With my fourteen year-old son standing there.

Her: Oh, three? Ha-ha.
Me: Uh...
Her: Just want to be sure, huh? Ha-ha.
Me: Um, I just like to have them on hand.
Her: Yeah, I do that too. Ha-ha. Do you have a goal here?
Me: Um...yeah. I have six kids and I'm wanting to keep it that way.
Her: Ha-ha. Good luck with that. Ha-ha.
Me: Uh...thanks.
Her: Huh-ha-huh-ha! Credit or debit?

What is the world coming to? Next strangers will be asking about how Aunt Flo's visit is going this month. I swear the next time someone does this to me I am going to treat them to the full-on conception to birth story of my latest, the line behind me be damned.

8 comments:

Heidi Ashworth said...

I wish I could sympathize but I am too busy Laughing Out Loud!!

Heather of the EO said...

You're hilarity is so hilarious. I LOVES it.

But um...still...sorry about the public humiliation.

The Motherboard said...

Dude. That stinks.

When I am feeling snarky, I try to say things that embarrass them right back. What comes around goes around. Or so I'm told!

Papa D said...

Exactly what Heidi said. This story is too close to my own condom story, especially the part about having six kids and not wanting more. Of course, the obligatory joke about how it would have been easier if I'd known about condoms before having six kids doesn't improve the speaker's chance of NOT being decked. *grin*

Thora said...

I only use the dollar store tests. I love cheap. I think that should be my motto.

(As a teenager, I was totally embarrassed when making any "personal" purchases) (Although just to be clear, none of them were ever pregnancy tests). My husband says the limit was him was buying condoms with his parents present while we lived with them. Now I just try and not engage the clerk in conversation, and hope I don't get a clerk like you had, who needs to strike up a conversation.

But at least we all get to laugh along, now!

Jo said...

So funny! I don't think I could buy one with my kids around. But then, with the man being fixed for 19 years, it isn't much of a worry anymore, thank goodness!

Shellie said...

I would have so wanted to punch her in the face.

Nat~Nat said...

My test for Taylor was at least 2 years. Obviously we'd given up trying! Now I've got my two (kids)and I don't want to wish either way.