Wednesday, October 1, 2008

My Oldest and Dearest Friend, My Yvil Sister


Your dog. My cat. Your Campfire Girls to my Girl Scouts. Theatre and choir for me; art and band for you. We tried so hard to draw boundaries, to hang onto our differences, but fooled no one. Two loaves made from the same dough, one braided, the other patted in a pan, we are as similar as we are different.

Long ago, we were in Algebra II/Trig together. If we were in the middle of a fight, we carried it into class. If we were getting along, we would laugh and do the family comedy routine. When Mr. O'Keeffe separated us, we just fought and joked louder across the room. Eventually, he let us sit together again. It was just quieter that way. Besides, he liked us. We spiced up the day.

I still need my Yvil sister fix. At least once a week. Preferably daily. Perhaps I'll throw the phone across the room in frustration or laugh until my cheeks ache: I can't predict us. I wouldn't if I could. No one makes me as angry as you do, no one touches my heart and makes me laugh as you do.

You screen my books and my movies, because you are a loving and helpful pagan. Ridiculously smart, my very own pedant, the only person in the world who corrects my grammar as I speak, you swear like a sailor, but you do it in complete, complex sentences.

My gifted, articulate, profane, pithy sister, you are irreplaceable. I love you.

Happy 40th Birthday. May your 41st year be your best yet.

15 comments:

The Crash Test Dummy said...

What at great, well written, complexly crafted tribute. :)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Off-topic, but your Blogger e-mail isn't made public, so I can't reply directly to your comment.

Yes, Sue has got to be the funniest blogger out there. I don't know how she does it. She cracks me up every single time.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Hey, you have 6 kids, too! Have I been here before?

Melanie J said...

"you swear like a sailor, but you do it in complete, complex sentences." Love that.

Jami said...

Thanks, CTB, she's one heck of a sister.

SC, at some point, my picture went away. My email must have gone at the same time. It should be there now. Plus I had the opportunity to answer another lame google question. Yes, we do have six kids. Yes, you have been here before. Come again. I like you.

MJ, not only is it a cute sentence, it is absolutely true. When she gets going, she can peel the paint off the bookstore walls.

Jami said...

Make that ctD. As in Dummy. Oops.

Shellie said...

Very cool.

makes me want to call my sister.

Heidi Ashworth said...

I like the "peel the paint off the bookstore walls" remark. I am going to have to use that one on my brother. He doesn't provoke peeling via swearing, it's more about smell. No, truthfully, it is his totally abherrent sense of humor. Gotta love him!

Heidi Ashworth said...

That is, aberrant. Or is it abhorrent? Anyway, it's a combination of both. (geez, I had to find out how to spell it! The humiliation . . .)

Yvil Sister said...

Hmmmm, and ironically, it was thou, o sister o my heart, that hath married and dated the skinny ones.... yet, to whom is the skeleton making a pass..... hmmmmm??

What!!?? Me???!! Swear???!!! Never say it is so! Do you see a single flip floppin' yahooed swear word umugst my veriest thoughts recorded herein?

Besides, I TEACH for heaven's sake.... I'm a @#@^$%%-ing role model!!! See, what really happens is this..... I CANT swear from 730am until 400pm because I am surrounded and touched by germy, whiney ninth-graders!!!! Ergo, my enforced cleanliness of mouth, if not thought, causes a backlog... nay, a backlash of profanity that then emerges, fucundant and obscene, to wipe the errudite smiles (see I cant spell either!!) off the faces of the familial plentitude!!! (And boy is there a plentitude)

Oh, yeah, I aint nuthin' so smart as me ma be smartlike!

Yvil Sister said...

Hey, Heidi, dude, is your brother available???? Heh, heh, heh!!!

Jami said...

He's probably Mormon, Yvil. But I forwarded your message on to Heidi.

Jo said...

What a beautiful gift to your sister. Happy Birthday to your sis!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Yvil sister, all I can say is that I am honored. I know it isn't me in whom you are interested, but still, by proxy, yeah, it's a good thing. Yes, he is taken. I mean, no, he is not available. He is married to a gorgeous gal with whom he has four gorgeous children and no joke-they are a gorgeous family. She is a jewel to put up with him tho, sometimes--he can be, well, like I said. I think she must love him for it. As would you. I don't think swearing particularly bothers him, either. It's too bad because if you are anything like Jami, I would love to have you in family style proximity.

Alison Wonderland said...

That was lovely.