Sh! I'm going to tell you a secret: I'm fat. No one knows but you and me so try to keep it under your hat. OK?
Two weeks ago I went for a check up and weighed in at TWO HUNDRED EIGHTY POUNDS. 280. That is a whole person overweight. Granted I was fully clothed, my shoes were on, and I had my wallet in my hand. BUT STILL! 280.
So the time has come for faux surgery. Today is the day. At noon, I am undergoing an intense psychologically-deranged pretend surgery. I have a close family member and several friends who've undergone the real thing and it has worked out well for them. The thing is--surgery hurts, both in the wallet and in the gut. So I'm wimping out and going for a mental fake out. I am going to print the following picture on a size 3x t-shirt and wear it at mealtimes.
There are some anticipated side effects. First off there is the family's reaction (confusion and disbelief). There will also be mockery from my friends. Then there will be hunger, since pretending that eating more than a mouthful will explode your stomach only works in The Little Princess. (You know when she gives her food to a beggar and then imagines her remaining food is a feast. Hm, maybe if I give my extra food to a beggar...) Then there is the remote possibility that I will lose weight. I think the benefits outweigh the risks. Don't you?
I'll let you know how it goes.