Monday, September 22, 2008

Resolution Redux

Due to some freakish self-defeating mental condition, I am much less likely to accomplish something if I make an official goal. The only New Year's resolution I have ever kept is 2006's: I will not kill anyone. (That was back when I was on the school board and TRUST me only the fear of God and my New Year's Resolution kept a couple of people alive.) By golly, I did not kill (or maim or even threaten) a single person all year long.

So here are the 2008 New Year's attempts (and results).
  1. Get the playroom clean. (Define "clean.")
  2. Oft speak kind words to the munchkins and the wizard. (Define "oft." Define "kind.")
  3. Blog less. (January 1st I was reading By Common Consent, Mormon Mommy Wars, and Feminist Mormon Housewives daily, commenting and following the links found therein. September 22nd. I am following approximately twenty blogs and comment regularly on all of them. AND I started my own little mish-mash blog, my own little bloggy playground. [I am not addicted! I can stop any time I want. I just don't want.] I spend about two hours a day playing. More if I'm looking for a picture of a pirate kitty.)

So that's how the New Year's resolutions are going.

So how about my fake gastric bypass? DOA. Oink, oink. Got some seriously unattractive gluttony going on here.

To add the final flourish to my goal-making humiliation, I have the following to report:

******CAUTION, RELIGION ALERT. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK******

How's about that not talking about it plan? Not going so well. I've been reading everything I can find on the subject, chatting with sympathetic friends, and pretending not to be listening to all of the exhortations being dished up at church. I've been wandering around, irritated at this blatant politicizing in my place of worship, looking forward to November 4th (oh SO looking forward to November 4th) when the whole stupid issue will be laid to rest!

AND THEN?!? Why, the Living God decided to have a little chat, of course. Not a face to face chat. More like a heart to heart. I will spare you the details, but the gist of it is that I have been asked by God to obey. To humble myself, to trust him and to volunteer to make phone calls. Oh and since my objections were made in such a public forum, He thought it would be a good idea to use that same forum to mention my acquiesce to His will.

What is interesting about all this is that I have not been asked to change my mind. I still don't think that the world will end if gay marriage is legal. I still don't think that homosexuality is any more of a sin than any other kind of unchasity. I still think church is a rotten place to talk about Proposition Anything or Candidate XY and his running mate XX. However, I am going to be making phone calls on behalf of the Yes on 8 campaign. Because God asked me to. Because He created me. Because He knows best. Even when I disagree.

(p.s. Yeah, I'm still having the Toblerone give-away.)
(p.p.s. I just achieved my unspoken, unofficial goal of writing a post with the word redux in the title.)

15 comments:

*MARY* said...

I was going to post some profound and poignant comment but I'm now distracted by this toblerone giveaway. Is it real? I can't help but hope.

Jami said...

I may be a flip-flopper, but I am an honest one. Yes, I'm giving away a Toblerone and I'm taking my kids out of the pool of potential winners to increase everyone's chances. Woo-hoo!

Melanie J said...

I so feel you on the Prop 8 thing. I've struggled internally over several aspects of this. I've talked it out with my husband. I've listened. I've prayed and listened some more. I still don't have the peace of mind I would like about the issue itself, but I've found great peace in committing to obey. I can only believe there is some far greater consequence down the road that I don't see, so I've done my phone calls, and donated my cash, and kept my mouth shut in church.

As to other points, I think not killing anyone on the school board (or the misguided parents and union reps who share their thoughts loudly and often) is a huge accomplishment. Cuz I'm a former teacher with more than my fair share of school board meetings under my belt. And I think that acheiving that goal should excuse you from ever having to make or keep a New Year's resolution again.

Thora said...

I always tell Avram (I'm planning to ask anyone else who asks, but no one ever does, and he didn't ask, but he's my husband, so he got to hear it anyway) that people who think that the church is against homosexuality shouldn't feel so special, because we're also against any form of fornication or immorality. That basically includes most of America, so there you go.

I'm glad that you shared your change of heart (well, change of action heart, not change of opinion heart). So often people just jokingly refer to their religion and religious feelings - it's nice to read a sincere story of communication with God.

As far as the New Years resolutions go - I've stopped doing them. Now on New Year's eve I just list off everything that I've done or accomplished the previous year (this isn't as impressive as it sounds. Things for this year will be stuff like, "Had Elisheva" - granted a good thing, but once you're pregnant, it's got to happen sometime - or, "Moved to Ohio." Also I list all the parties we had (I love having people come to my house). Then I list off the things I want to happen in the next year (this last year I had things on my list like "Have Elisheva." or, "Avram get into graduate school with money." So I've already accomplished these things (I especially like to do things I have no real control over, but that are likely to happen.)

So at the end of every year I look back at everything I've done, and it makes me feel so accomplished. It's like New Year's Resolutions, but with all of the goal making parts taken out.

Finally, I hope that in your quest to be better, you don't stop reading my blog, and blogging yourself. Because I really like your comments. (Now I sound kind of pathetic, but I am.)

Jami said...

Melanie, it was an interesting moment when the pieces clicked into place for me.

Actually I was on the teachers', students' and parents' side of every argument. It was a certain superintendent-type and a few fellow board members who needed the protection of my resolution.

Thora, I may try the writing my goals after the fact method. It can't be any less successful than my current method. Also don't worry I will still come visiting.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Jami, I love that you posted a picture! Yay! Also, my mom mailed the book, I am taking it to the post office tomorrow. Let me know when you get it. Also, about Prop 8--I am hanging my hat on the promise that our children will be protected if we act. I don't even hear "Prop 8 will pass if we act." I just hear that my kids will not suffer from any neg. consequences if it does pass as long as we obey. It is hard to really understand what the consequences might be if it doesn't pass--I agree that homosexuality isn't any greater sin than any other kind of unchastity, etc. BUT, I do feel very strongly that there must be some negative consequence to the dilution of the meaning of the word marriage or the church would not be doing what they are doing. There is something here we just can't see. So, I'm glad that you are working your way past all the ignorant voices out there (yes, they are at church, too) and listening to the voice that matters.

Jami said...

Heidi, I posted this picture a while back, but then somehow it got deleted. I guess I checked the wrong box or something. It's a bit old, but I don't have any more recent ones. I pretty much still look like that.

I hope no one asks me for my own opinion when I'm calling. Um, well, I think...but then again...and then there's...unless...I have no clue, ma'am.

Shellie said...

when I'm looking for a kitten dressed as a pirate it usually takes me 4-5 hrs. so you've got me beat :)

yeah could you keep your eye out for some True Religion jeans?

oh and what's this about a toblerone giveaway.

Nat~Nat said...

You seemed to have a little weight lifted from your shoulders when you told me about your final decision to do what you believe the Lord has told us to do. For me, it's not really about Prop 8, but about listening to our prophet.

p.s. Thanks for the visit. I am very thankful to have a friend like you.

Jami said...

Shellie, what size? Email me if you are serious. You would be AMAZED at what people give to Good Will. The toblerone give-away is linked in the post: "Not going so well." I will be having a drawing at 8 pm Nov 4th.

Nat-Nat, you are a wonderful friend too. Yes, I do feel a bit better. Although it's a bit like deciding that yes, indeed, that leg does need to come off. Relief that the decision is made, certainty that it is the correct decision and dread, lots and lots of dread.

Annette Lyon said...

I'm with you on the blog thing. I won't admit to how many are in my reader. It's shameful. :)

(Could you e-mail me your mailing address so I can get it to the Line Upon Line cards gals and then you can claim your prize?)

Papa D said...

Jami, if it helps at all, you know at least one person who blogs enough to make you look like an uninterested bystander. Just saying.

(Oh, and I am over our stake's creation and maintenance of [and training about] a systematic, organized network of blogs - both at the stake and ward level. I am really excited about it, since we essentially have an integrated network of blogs that includes a central blog for the stake itself and an individual blog for each auxiliary - all cross-linked together. We have a "Blogging Etiquette" page, with links to a few good articles, and a couple of RSS feeds to the Church's newsroom articles and notices. It's pretty cool, if I do say so myself. If you are interested, e-mail me at fam7heav at juno dot com, and I will send you the url to check it out. I'd love any feedback you'd like to provide. Oh, and we are going to set up identical networks for each ward and branch, so they can use it for their own bloggable stuff. Right now, I have set up only one, for the ward that has the largest active blogging community - at least a dozen women and a few men.)

Finally, congrats on your reconciliation with the requests regarding Prop 8. If I were in your shoes, I would be doing likewise. I have strong reservations about the hypocrisy in our American society in the way we treat homosexuals versus heterosexual fornicators and adulterers, I have strong reservations about many of the arguments against gay marriage (especially with our history of polygamy and the arguments we used to fight its cessation), and I support civil unions with full civil rights, but I just can't support redefining a word that has meant something unique for so long. However, if this doesn't pass, I will support legislating the voice of the people.

Jen Hill said...

I am also distracted by the Toblerone giveaway. Lead me to it!

Jami said...

OK, I'll re-post the Toblerone game.

Annette, I'm searching for your address. I love quests!

Ray, I'll email. I'd love to see your bloggy creation. Thanks for the empathy.

I do think you have me beat for bloggernacle hours logged, by quite a bit. How do you manage it?

Annette Lyon said...

Ok, um, duh. :)

It's annette at annette lyon dot com.

Sorry about that!